Grandparents can be a tremendously valuable resource for parents raising their children, and of course most often the relationships among grandparent, parent and child are nurturing and supportive. Sometimes, though, grandparents are convinced that they could do a better job than parents in taking care of their children. Not infrequently they may be right, but the legal requirements for changing custody from parent to grandparent are very difficult to establish.

Brenda and Ricky Vance live together in Mississippi, and have two children aged four and three. Both parents work—Ricky has a day job and Brenda works nights, so whichever parent is at home takes care of the children. Brenda’s mother Eva Hillman became convinced that Brenda’s job made her unfit to raise her children.

Brenda’s evening job is as an exotic dancer, and she has in the past sold pornographic materials. Ms. Hillman, pointing to what she called an "unwholesome environment" in the Vance home, asked the courts to terminate Brenda and Ricky’s parental rights, or at least to order them to grant her regular visitation with her grandchildren.

Ms. Hillman argued that the Vance household was also dangerous because her daughter and son-in-law maintained a vicious dog that might harm her grandchildren. The Vances insisted that their dog was "old, loving and losing his teeth." As far as visitation was concerned, they assured the court that they were willing to let Ms. Hillman visit her grandchildren—provided that she did not bring her boyfriend, Clayton Parker. Mr. and Mrs. Vance didn’t want him visiting because they believed he was a disruptive and difficult individual, and their problems with Brenda’s mother seemed worse when he was present.

The Mississippi Court of Appeals laid out the standards under state law for either termination of the parent-child relationship or court-ordered grandparent visitation rights. The former, said the appellate court, requires proof that the parents have abandoned or neglected the child, or have some mental or physical condition that makes it impossible to parent. The mere fact that a parent works as a stripper is not enough—especially since the children appear to be clean, well-fed and well-adjusted. Neither will mere ownership of a dog permit termination of the parental relationship.

Ms. Hillman could not even show that her visitation rights were being unreasonably restricted or denied, said the judges. Her daughter’s decision not to allow Ms. Hillman’s boyfriend to share in the visitation was not unreasonable, and he had no rights to protect. Ms. Hillman’s requests were properly denied. Hillman v. Vance, January 11, 2005.

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